Tag Archives: Comedy Central

An after-school satan club?

Right-wing and mainstream media have been filled with breathless stories about the After-School Satan Club. The group says it was created to counter the work of the Good News Club, a child evangelism organization that operates in thousands of schools worldwide, many of them public schools. They claim to reach over a million children each year.

They can do this in public schools because they operate after school and parents have to opt-in to the programs because they are not considered official school clubs, but rather function as after-school private clubs.

The After-School Satan Club markets itself as being founded upon “free inquiry and rationalism, the scientific basis for which we know what we know about the world around us. We prefer to give children an appreciation of the natural wonders surrounding them, not a fear of everlasting other-worldly horrors.”

All well and good. Free country and all that.

But as comedian Jim Jeffries points out in the YouTube video below from his eponymous show on Comedy Central, the After-School Satan Club is in zero schools yet still begs for money for doing, well, apparently nothing but stroking the egos of its founders and causing problems for those of us who want to present science in schools as a rational, non-threatening alternative to the know-nothing, anti-education agenda of the most conservative theologies in America.

No matter how any atheist might feel about religion in their own lives, not all people of faith are the enemy. I have a church a few blocks from my home, First United Methodist Church of Omaha (FUMC), that focuses on the goodness and kindness and love that humans can bring to one another while still being believers in a higher being. FUMC does amazing work in the community around social justice issues.

I would rather see these churches built up, instead of insisting on the fool’s errand of trying to rid the world of religion.

After School Satan is doing far more harm than good, but their efforts do illustrate an important point: the progressive side has just as many stubbornly doctrinaire people as does the right-wing side, with one important difference: many of them are people with formal education. That does not, apparently, stop them from doing very stupid things.

On a final note, the National Science Teachers Association has this to say about starting a science club in your own schools without any of that annoying, useless BS about Satan.

Trump may run again. Comedians rejoice.

A paragraph regarding the presidential race  I wish I had written:

All that said, it’s entirely possible this is another Trump bait-and-switch publicity stunt. You might recall how he teased a possible presidential run for the 2012 GOP nomination. At one point, Trump quizzed his contestants on Celebrity Apprentice, asking Meat Loaf if he thought Trump should run, to which Meat Loaf replied with an enthusiastic, “Absolutely!” By the way, that was a feature of the presidential election four years ago — asking Meat Loaf for political advice — and it’s actually grown far worse in the last four years. Indeed, today, if Meat Loaf himself decided to run as a Republican, he’d probably poll better than half the field.

Some social scientist of the distant future studying American culture for the first time will be studying the Republican candidates of this election season thinking, “How did these people not blow themselves up?”

A more seasoned colleague will look at her and say, “You think think those people were barely sentient? Wait’ll you read about the one they called The Donald. He makes the rest look like scholars.”

Please enter the race, Donald. Puh-leeeeeeeeze?

ADDENDUM: And, it’s official. Thank you, thank you, thank you….

Via Donald Trump is about to prove what a joke the Republican Primary is| Salon

The Daily Show has its way with the McKinney, TX pool incident

On some level the incident during which an armed policeman drew his weapon on black children in swimsuits  —  a police intervention instigated, according to some reports, by a white mother not happy with so damned many black kids in her neighborhood pool —  is so unbelievable it was ripe for examination by Comedy Central in some form.

Who knew? Martha Stewart owns the Justin Bieber roast

Who could have guessed with all the foul-mouthed firepower at Justin Bieber’s roast on Comedy Central that America’s number one homemaker would out filthy them all.

“First of all, thank you, Kevin Hart. It’s really great to be here.  Sitting and listening to you yell your jokes over the last hour is the hardest time I’ve ever done

“As we all know, Kevin is one of the biggest stars in the business right now. When he finally got his first big paycheck, he spent $150,000 on a watch. I forget the term for that, it’s not ‘African-American rich.’

“It will come to me. Justin, you know the word.

“I know you are all wondering why I’m here tonight. It’s because Martha Stewart changes people’s lives for the better. Like Shaq for instance, when Shaq bought his house, I was the first person he called. The house had 13 bedrooms and I helped convert eight of them into refrigerators.

“I believe the bedroom is the most important room in the house but I don’t have to tell you that, Ludacris. You have three kids with three different women. May I suggest pulling out some time and finishing on some fine highly absorbent Martha Stewart bed linens?

“It’s nice to see Snoop again, one of the highest-rated episodes on my show,Martha Stewart Living, was when Snoop and I made brownies together. I’ve used his recipe ever since. As a matter of fact, I ate three of them right before they called and asked me to do this roast. Snoop, I see that you have been following my beauty regimen. You would never know that Snoop Dogg is 43 now, which is three times as long as actual dogs live and twice as long as most of his friends.

“I taught Snoop that the most important thing in business is diversification. Besides his music, he’s produced a porn movie. And, by the way, Natasha [Legerro] you were great in that. I guess tonight’s the second time you’ve worked with five black guys.

“I do a lot of gardening but [Natasha], you are without a doubt the dirtiest, used-up ho I have ever seen. Natasha, when a woman is as sexually active as you are, they have to take special care of their body. I’ve come up with a douche that no one has ever heard of.

“You know, like Chris D’Elia.

“Hannibal [Buress], all night I’ve been trying to remember who you remind me of. Then it hit me, you look just like that gingerbread man I left in the oven too long.

“Let’s get to the reason I’m here tonight which is to give Justin Bieber some tips to use when he inevitably ends up in prison. I’ve been in lockup and you wouldn’t last a week, so pay attention. The first thing you’ll need is a shank. I made mine out of a pin tail comb and a pack of gum. It’s so simple. I found Bubbalicious works best and it’s so much fun to say. When I did my stretch, all the hood rats on my cell block wanted to break off a piece of Martha Stewart’s ass, so I decided some bitch needed to get got. I walked into the chow hall, picked out the biggest bull dyke and I stuck her. From then on, prison was easier than making blueberry scones.

“Shaq, I hope your mom doesn’t still hold a grudge.

“Justin, before I go, here is my final piece of advice. You need to settle down, bring some balance into your life, find yourself the right gal but she’ll have to be someone on your level, someone powerful and famous and rich, someone you can smoke a joint with or indulge in the occasional three-way. I’m talking about a playa in the board room and a freak in the bedroom.

“So Justin, my final piece of advice is, call me.”

What a riot. You have to watch it, however, just to watch everyone’s reaction. Shock. So much shock on everyone’s faces.

Leggero was the only one who came close to Stewart, saying:

“Justin was born to a teenage single mom. No wonder he’s got moves; he was in the womb dodging a coathanger.

“Justin, Selena Gomez had to fuck you. She is literally the least lucky Selena in all of entertainment history.”

Abortion and murdered pop stars. Yes, she went there.

Natasha

This will be epic

This is tantamount to Sarah Palin going before an academic review board. It will be a bloodbath.

March 7.

Click on the image to go to the article.

JustinBieberRoast

Take that, Fox News!

DAILYshowFreeMarketCapilaist.Matthew

Do they throw cous-cous instead of rice at gay weddings?

Derek Zoolander announces the “End of Syphilization” calendar

Zoolander is one of my favorite movies, so I’m glad to see Derek making an appearance during a Comedy Central special. And for a good cause!