Category Archives: Fail

Eeew. Eeew. Eeew. 

Just eeew. 

Great moments in baseball trajectory anticipation

Part of me hopes this baseball player climbing the fence was actually trying to be funny. “Everybody stand back! I got this one!”

If I had to suddenly actually play a game of baseball in the outfield, this is how I envision it transpiring. 

At the gym: looking good, doing it wrong

She’s gonna kill her back some day doing that.


Hurricane Katrina analogy falls flat for Chicago Tribune writer

Dig faster, Kristen! Dig faster!

Conservative or liberal, if you write a regular column in a newspaper there will be times when the piece you wrote lands with such a thud, you know immediately you made a mistake.

There were times when I wrote editorials or columns that, when they appeared online or in dead-tree print format, I could tell by my email Inbox that I clearly had not thought deeply enough about an issue, or that an idea I thought made an interesting analogy was lost on everyone but me. 

One suspects that Chicago Tribune columnist — and editorial board member — Kristen McQueary is experiencing one of those instances in a writer’s life.

See the Tweet above?

It was written in response to the cloud of controversy — that term is an understatement — that has appeared around McQueary since she penned an Aug. 13 piece for the Trib that essentially prayed for a Hurricane Katrina-esque disaster to hit Chicago so the political logjams McQueary sees as holding Chicago back from real change on some important issues could be broken.

Most writers would think to mark the upcoming 10th anniversary of the worst civil engineering disaster in American history — with 1,183 deaths and $108 billion in damage in 2005 dollars — with a thought piece about tragedy, rebirth and the resilience of the human spirit. Which is sort of what McQueary insists in retrospect she was writing about.

The piece has been scrubbed in many ways online by Trib staffers.

What is left is bad enough:

That’s why I find myself praying for a storm. OK, a figurative storm, something that will prompt a rebirth in Chicago. I can relate, metaphorically, to the residents of New Orleans climbing onto their rooftops and begging for help and waving their arms and lurching toward rescue helicopters.

Think about this one passage.

I very much doubt most people can relate to “to the residents of New Orleans climbing onto their rooftops and begging for help and waving their arms and lurching toward rescue helicopters.”

One suspects the only people who can “relate” to this are the people who actually waited on those rooftops, with their entire lives in a deluge, as they waited for water and food as the bodies of their neighbors floated by.

Judging from the search for McQueary’s name on Google since her piece appeared, she is taking fire from all sides. (I have seen her described a “conservative writer” although I have not seen anything definitive on that yet. She does have the journalistically unfunnyTwitter handle StatehouseChick, which makes her suspect.)

Part of me wants to feel sorry for her. But even I’ve never been this tone deaf to so large an issue, and I’ve written some real stinkers on deadline when I had little time to go over the nonsense that just emanated from my keyboard.

It just seems so oblivious to the Hurricane Katrina tragedy as lived by so many particularly poverty-stricken people that I don’t find the charge of being conservative to be out of the realm of immediate possibilities. Conservatives excel at missing the tragic forest for the chance-to-lecture-someone trees.

Flooded I-10/I-610/West End Blvd interchange and surrounding area of northwest New Orleans and Metairie, Louisiana. Photo: U.S. Coast Guard

Someone on Bobby Jindal’s team thought #AskBobby would be a good idea

The results were predictable, with the internet roasting him on an open spit.

My two favorites:

It’s hard to look like the silliest loser in a field full of losers, but Jindal is pulling it off.

Via: Bobby Jindal Tells Twitter to #AskBobby, Immediately Regrets It | Blue Nation Review



CNN mistakes banner with tiny sex toys as Arabic, screams “ISIS!”

They are just the worst.


It’s funny because it’s not so outlandish for people who think Jesus rode dinosaurs

I love the little club.
I love the little club.

Tornado strikes, kills old couple, then a sign from God

Now comes this from The Blaze:

After a tornado ripped through Van, Texas, … killing a husband and his wife, neighbors of the deceased reportedly discovered something in the rubble that is bringing family and friends some comfort.

A Bible was found in the wreckage near the home of David and Brenda Tapley — the sole casualties of the tornado, according to the Van Texas Tornado Recovery Facebook page.

That Bible, which belonged to the Tapleys, was open to page 1,500, which includes James 1:2-6, verses that address how to handle life’s sometimes difficult struggles.

It reads, “My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing.”

The verses have reportedly brought comfort to the family, with AOL reporting that David Tapley’s sister wrote, “Thank you Jesus for your message,” in a Facebook post published following the couple’s death.

The Tapeleys, longtime members of the Van United Methodist Church, were praised by fellow parishioners who said that the compassionate and caring couple will be greatly missed.

Don’t take this as a indicative of my feelings about the death of what sounded like a sweet old couple. What about the many people who weren’t killed? God just loves them more? Or God kills off innocent old people to prove some point?

I wonder what they all would have said if they found a copy of Tits & Ass magazine open to the centerfold.

“Look, everyone! It’s a sign from God! We must all of us get boob jobs and butt implants!”

via A Bible Was Found in the Rubble of a Texas Home Following a Tornado. But It’s the Verse That It Was Open to That Is Gaining Attention. |

Quotes Of Note: Ian Reisner of Ted Cruz/Out NY Hotel fame

“You know, it’s so ironic — I wanted to build kind of a community center in the gateway to Hell’s Kitchen, which in 2008–2009 was already a gay place and now it’s even gayer. Very close to Broadway. We decided there’d be so many different ways to give back to the community. We show gay artists there. For gay performers, we have let this cabaret club go on for three and a half years. And you don’t make money when you let drag queens in on Tuesday night and 30 people drink at $10 a drink and you have to pay five people to watch over the place. You don’t make money … My only point is, this has not been a profitable venture. Gays are cheap. They’re frugal; gays are frugal. Let me retract that … gays are entitled … Do you know how challenging it is to make a penny off a gay person? I’m gay, I don’t pay cover. I’m gay, where’s my comp drink? [Everyone laughs.] No, I’m being serious! The Out NYC has not shown a profit yet …”

Ian Reisner, one of the two gay hoteliers in New York City who hosted Ted Cruz for an event and faced a fast and furious backlash for doing so, in a May 1 interview with New York magazine.

Be sure to turn your microphone off BEFORE you start to take a pee

Even the flush is caught by the microphone. But I didn’t hear any hand washing. Hmmm.