Ohmigod, it's a racooon! A racooon! Joy, joy!

DogJumpingAtTV

I've never met a dog like you before. The feel of your fur. The smell of your ear. Pay no attention to that camera….

DogLovesKitty

Downton Tabby

DowntonKitty

Man's best construction helper

mansbesConstructionHElper

I believe I've made a terrible mistake

CatMakesGreatMistake

Spiders and snakes. What is it about spiders and snakes?

I grew up around farms and farm people. And, generally speaking, I understand the farmer’s admonition that spiders (they eat lots of noxious insects) and snakes (they eat noxious vermin) are our friends who usually don’t bother you if don’t bother them first.

Unless, of course, you are putting on a shoe and a highly aggressive North American Hairy Death Killer spider (I totally made that name up) sees dozens of toes coming at its multifaceted eyes and decides to inject you with some neuroparalytic venom that will cause you to be discovered dead by EMTs, forever frozen in time with a look of surprise on your face, one shoe on, and your web browser still on your favorite porn site you don’t want anyone else to know about.

Don't mind my ear piercing screams.

Don’t mind my ear piercing screams.

With me it’s about the element of surprise. If one of my squeamish neighbors calls me upset because they have a large snake or spider in their place, I am the guy who comes in bravely and picks the offender up and disposes of it in whatever PETA-approved way you can think of. (Not really. They all die. I figure, it’s them or me.)

I’ve worked as a bouncer. I’ve worked security at concerts. I can take care of myself.

Little do most of those people realize that if that same snake or spider were to surprise me, especially in places I feel vulnerable (shower, toilet, bed, etc.) I will go from zero to girly in about two seconds. See the picture of the little girl in this post? That’s me, only I know — and this may be hard to believe — I could scream louder than a pre-pubescent girl.

I rented a cabin in the woods once with some friends and I had walked out to check out a shed that was about 20 yards from the main cabin. Hanging from one of the eaves of the shed was a spider web I did not see until I had walked through it. My friends watching me from the main cabin thought I was having a seizure.

As for snakes, this post earlier this month should just about cover that issue for you.

Snakes in a display case at the zoo or pet store? Very cool.

A snake in a toilet you don’t discover until after you sit down? I have thought about this possibility every single time in my life I have ever used a porta-pottie, standing or sitting.

In fact, I see a line of porta-potties and on some visceral level I think, “Oh, look. They brought in a row of snake habitats for this event.”

Which brings us to the spiders the size of the one in the video below.

No, no, no, no, no.

No touchy. No looky. Someone grab a blow torch because that spider would have seconds to live.

A raccoon learns you can't wash cotton candy

RaccconWashesCottonCandy

Parrots talk to each other

This was sent to me today. Love it.

Parrots are so amazing. Clearly these two are communicating something to one another in more than just the usual way most birds do through songs or chirps.

This isn’t a song. It’s a conversation of some sort.

Cool photo of the day

Owl mid-flight from National Geographic. Click image to make bigger. Then right-click and save wherever you save your wallpapers or go to original here.

This is big enough to be used a a wallpaper.

This is big enough to be used as a wallpaper.

Commence heart attack in 5-4-3-2….

Oh. My. God.

A boa constrictor caused panic at a downtown San Diego office when it crawled out of a toilet after apparently slithering down a pipe from an upstairs apartment, an official said on Thursday.

Stephanie Lasca, co-founder of the firm Vertical PR + Marketing, went to use the facilities at her second-floor office on Tuesday and noticed the water level in the toilet was high, so she took a plunger to it, said her co-worker Holly Wells.

Lasca saw a snake’s head peep out from the bottom of the basin, with its tongue flickering out, Wells said. Lasca ran out and called Wells, who was a short distance away. Wells said she opened the door to the bathroom and saw the snake coiled behind the commode.

The two women taped up the door with Scotch tape and waited an hour for an animal control officer to arrive, Wells said.

“It was terrifying,” she said. “We had our feet up on the desk and we didn’t know what was coming next.”

All the while, they could hear the snake move around the bathroom and knock over a trash can.

A snake. Knocking over a trash can. It might just as well rear up and open the door with its rattler — no, wait — because that is what I’d be waiting for.

Snakes scare the hell out me in any case.

But out of a toilet?

I’d be crapping in plastic bags for the rest of my life, assuming I lived long enough to get off the toilet in question.

The entire article can be clicked here.

SnakeInToilet

It may not look big, but it knocked over a friggin’ trash can. (shudder)