All posts by Jeff Epperly

I have finally accepted the truth

Other doggy parents will feel joy I will never experience.

It is inescapable now. Otto the rescue pitbull does not like bacon.

I was making breakfast for dinner tonight, and fried up some bacon. When it was done I took a piece out to let it cool on a paper towel. 

I gave it to Otto and he, as he always does with any particularly messy food, carried it into the living room to eat on the new rug. I thought nothing of it.

Then I walked into the living room a few minutes later and there it was. Sitting there, untouched on the carpet. Mocking me.

The uneaten bacon.

I tried everything. I desperately offered it to him again as he was sleeping on the sofa. He turned up his nose then looked away.

I pulled out the big guns. I acted like I was eating it, making “nom, nom, nom” sounds and saying “Mmmm, DELICIOUS!” like I do right before he rejects yet another expensive  doggy treat and then eats some poop.

Nothing. He just looked at me, yawned and then licked his rope toy.

A rope toy? Over bacon?

You turn it over in your mind. Where did I go wrong?

There were signs I ignored. He would not take bacon-flavored treats. He did not like Pupperoni.

I should have known. But I was in denial.

Where did I go wrong? Did I love him too much? Did I love him not enough?

What will the other parents at the dog park say?

“His dog does not like bacon. Also he doesn’t use biodegradable waste disposal bags.”

The words ring in my ears.

I don’t want to talk about it.

I will post a vague reference on Facebook to something being wrong and hope nobody takes that extra step of asking, “What happened? Are you OK?”

The world seems off-kilter right now.

This explains a lot

Trump tweeted a pic from his latest physical.  ECHO!! (Echo, echo, echo, echo)

The joys of a writing life 

Kafka was a real ray of sunshine, especially with writer’s block.  This is what it’s like. 

Blankets, Grandma! Buy lots of blankets!

Because all you freeloading old people can forget about being fed and then you won’t have enough money for heat because fuel assistance is also being eliminated. 

So much win for everyone!

This person loves their PB&Js

Some people are sticklers for correct grammar. Some people are rock or classical music purists. And then some people don’t like you messing with their peanut butter and jelly.

I feel the same way about putting almond or soy milk on cereal.

Apple Jacks and Cocoa Krispies should be eaten the way nature intended: with whole milk. 

Don’t get me started on this issue. I could go on and on. As could many of us, the cereal like-minded

A hilarious look at “sleeping” twin toddlers

What happens after the lights go out and twin toddlers are in their cribs thinking nobody is around? This. I love this so much!

And I thought having a new dog was a handful.

This is so much awesome in one video, especially after Dad comes in to put them back to bed.

Bad kitty!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day to those who celebrate it.

And to all my cat lover friends and followers.

A handy timeline on who will pay for the wall

A staff member on the show “Full Frontal With Samantha Bee” kept this ongoing list of who is going to pay for Trump’s wall.

Interacting with everyday people here in Chicago, during which politics comes up as a topic often, has taught me a few lessons.

  1. Not everyone who voted for Trump is an idiot.
  2. Some of those people had what they thought were very good non-racist reasons for doing so.
  3. The people you often expect to be Clinton, Trump or Sanders supporters from just looking at them will often surprise you.
  4. Many people took Trump at his word because he has been so masterful at painting himself as a guy who does what he says and they thought his bad traits were just for show.

That last one is most important, IMHO.

If you voted for Trump because of #4, then honestly ask yourself: How many promises has he broken? At what point do you have to admit (if you are being honest with yourself) that he is just not the person he said he is, and that he conned you just as he has conned so many other people?

When do you just get mad at what he did to you and so many of his non-rich followers? Or do you just keep up the charade because admitting you were fooled is just too painful?

 

That one moment of clarity for Paul Ryan

Remember when the  truth about him “destroying the health care system” slipped out on C-SPAN?

Oops!

Looks as if he is getting his wish.

How anyone is shocked is beyond me. Ryan is a grown man who still believes in the writings of objectivist kook and academic fraud Ayn Rand

Ayn Rand! You expect sincere but uninformed college freshmen to have flirtations with Rand. They don’t know any better until they find out what a horrible human being she was. And then there are the weirdos who have grown a kind of cult around her.

This is the Speaker of the House who still follows this woman. Of course he want poor children to go back to working as chimney sweeps and the elderly to starve. This is part of the essence of Ayn Rand.

A new chew toy!

(Part of an ongoing series of posts about my life as the new daddy of Otto, the rescue pitbull mix.)

What it is about bringing new toys home to your dog that is so enjoyable?

I suppose just the happiness it brings you to see them enjoying themselves.

With Otto it has also been waiting to see whether he would sniff it, taste it and then walk away bored no matter how much you tried to get him to become interested in most toys.

Otto is a bit of toy snob. He just can’t be bothered with balls (boring!) and the kinds of toys for which many dogs go nuts. He won’t chase anything on its own. Throw a ball and he looks the other way.

He likes stuffed toys with squeakers, but has the stuffing and squeaker removed so quickly that I stopped getting them for him.

It is said by many who love them that it is an almost universal trait that pibbles love to play tug-of-war and this is definitely Otto’s favorite game. Whether it’s with a rope or strip of canvas (or his leash when I am trying to walk him) he never tires of any kind of tug of war.

So I keep my eye out for different kinds of rope toys which look solid enough and have some sort of rubber ball or similar object attached with which he can occupy himself.

I ran across this one today which is almost all rope. He loves it. 

Which is great, because you have to keep those doggy minds occupied as much as possible if they are to be happy and out of mischief. It’s also satisfies their need to chew on things that are hopefully not your shoes and furniture

Chewing is one of the major reasons why dogs are given up for adoption or abandoned, so if you can learn to constructively deal with the problem you’ve won a major battle.

I knew this about dogs, but did not realize how central giving them things to chew on (some breeds more than others) is to their well-being and happiness. 

This toy bills itself as virtually indestructible. We’ll see. I’ll give it less than an hour before Otto has it at least partially destroyed. The only thing he never eventually destroys is his rubber Kong.

Such is life with a beloved pibble!

$12.99 at Target! Don’t spend too much on most toys unless they have stellar reviews on, say, Amazon where many people say they last a long time.

Otto with his new toy.