Bronies should be seen and not heard

Look, I don’t really care if people want to go to conventions for “My Little Pony” fans (called “Bronies”). I’ve never seen the show, but a convention full of individuals dressed like cartoon pony characters sounds a little sweet — if very annoying after the first half-hour or so to anyone who’s not an aficionado.

I don’t even care if the people who dress up like animals then take it to the next level into being turned on sexually by their costumes. More power to you as long as you don’t startle children or the horses. (Ha!)

That would make a person, I guess, a Furry into yiffing (an onomatopoeical term which denotes the act of Furries having sex).

Do Bronies become Furries if they yiff in costume, or do they just remain horny Bronies into yiffing? It’s all so confusing. But, I digress.

No matter which outré sexual acts you’re into, or through which dress-up milieus you travel, allow me to offer a bit of advice: do not go on Jerry Springer to talk about it. Seriously. Jerry and his producers do not have your best interests in mind. Jerry is a sideshow barker, not a social scientist. The only way you are interesting to people outside your fetish is if you can be presented as a freak.

Of course, if you are inclined to go on a trashy syndicated talk show to lay bare your love of anthropomorphic sex, you’re probably not the kind of person who cares about being made into a fool. So you’ll get your moment of fame, and your fellow Furries and Bronies will have to be content with writing outraged letters to the Jerry Springer show. Which he reads on-air because they’re good ratings. And round and round it goes.